Some shady reviews for Twilight

Can somebody please explain how the Twilight films have received so much incredible publicity and success when IMDB users have rated all of the films 5 or less? In fact, both of the most recent movies are currently scored 4.6 apiece. Rotten Tomatoes also seems to hold the series in contempt, the first movie scoring 50%, New Moon a pathetic 27% and Eclipse 54%. I check some of the ‘fresh’ reviews on Eclipse though, and they smell rotten to me. Take this one for example:

“More pouting, mumbling and gazing into the distance, mainly. But hey. NOBODY does it better than these guys.” – News of the World.

Terrific, so nobody does crap better than this! Doesn’t sound so positive… How about this one?

“It’s a nice mix of comedy and action, especially with the running gag of Jacob appearing shirtless early and often so Jacob fanatics can howl about his hot abs.” – Atlantic City Weekly

Erm…this is a film review right??

Then you start to notice a trend:

“The good news is that the mood is a little lighter than in New Moon, which was full of teenage angst and suicide attempts. Edward and Bella even get to smile now and again and there’s the occasional funny line.” – Birmingham Post

The Wall Street Journal wrote a particularly revealing one:

“I can’t pretend that the third episode instilled a fever in my blood, but it didn’t leave me cold. For the first time in the series I felt I’d seen a real movie.”

Aha! So that’s what the fresh reviews are for. Eclipse is apparently better than expected…but still shit. The problem is, success at the box office, and by that, I mean some serious gold, will keep these pretty boy vampires on posters for some time to come. God help serious cinema goers.

PS. sorry if this post is a little heavy on text, but if you thought you were going to get a picture of a topless Vamp on this blog, you’re having a laugh.

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