A charming letter to Nero.

Not the Roman Emperor or the Swedish Record Label, but the wondrous Caffè Nero, the scourge of Starbucks and other high street coffee chains. Anyway, I was digging around an old hard drive I owned during my years in Sixth Form College (not that long ago, I assure you), and discovered this unbelievably insolent albeit fairly entrepreneurial letter addressed to Whom It May Concern…

Dear Sir/ Madam

RE: Nero Loyalty Cards

I enclose a false copy of a Nero Loyalty Card which I forged to see if I could. I am sixteen and all I have of relevance, is an A* GCSE in graphics, but I propose that anyone with limited computer ability could, with little difficulty, create a copy of the Nero Card and abuse it.

If you consider that each free coffee saves the buyer approximately £2.15, possibly more if they choose a more luxurious beverage, you will possibly agree that the Nero Card is far too easy to fake.

I have not used the enclosed card, and in a direct comparison with a genuine card, it would not be faultless, but I have never witnessed one of the Café Nero Staff examine a card or even vaguely doubt it’s authenticity, and I think that if I had chosen to use the false card, I would have undoubtedly gained a free drink. Also, with a little more time and skill, the fake card could be improved upon.

That is just with one card. If more were produced, and varied to have a few more or less stamps and increase their legitimate appearance, it would be possible for someone to have free drinks or sell counterfeit loyalty cards at your expense.

I am uncertain how you could continue the card (which is a very good and much appreciated system) and avoid this problem, but I am sure it is possible.

I decided to draw this to your attention as I don’t intend to use the card in this manner, and I was hoping my honesty could be acknowledged in some suitable way?

I hope this letter will be useful to you, and my observations will be considered,

Yours Sincerely

Aside from the fact they probably couldn’t give two Rastafarian pebbles about my limited graphics ability or my fraudulent activities, the letter is wholly untrue on numerous levels (none of which I’m going to entertain here – just in case!)

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *